Masculine, Feminine

Posted by Javan Poblador | Posted on February 23, 2020

Written by Maimai-addi Aydinan
February 22, 2020
Muntinlupa City, Philippines

My man has always been self-conscious about some of his physical traits. He has gynecomastia, man-boobs, which has always caused him to be the butt of jokes among friends. Truth be told, I find it attractive. When we met, he didn’t come across as effeminate. After getting to know me, he confided in me: in elementary school, he was teased for being a crybaby, a “sumbungero.” He says he was quite effeminate but learned to control his behavior, the way he walks, the way he talks.

This is the story of how we first met: he was commissioned to do a painting, and he ordered a custom-sized canvas from me. In other words, he hired me to do minor carpentry work for him.

We didn’t see each other again until about a year later when he and another friend invited me to work on a project. They needed me because I had a power tool called a jigsaw, which is useful for cutting wood in curved shapes. They could not just borrow it since neither of them could use it (they tried).

I had another boyfriend at the time, but I was quite unhappy in that relationship. One of the things I hated about that guy was that when I borrowed his power drill, he wanted it back so soon as if he didn’t trust me with it. The very next day after I gave it back to him, I bought a new drill (I had an old one that had been malfunctioning).

Unknown to me, my now significant other is fond of muscular girls. Whenever I make jokes about my huge biceps–I like to playfully tell guys that they better not piss me off while flexing my arms–he likes what he sees. I didn’t realize it then, but now that I have access to his browsing history, I can tell he is into Asian-looking women who are flat-chested and muscular, like volleyball players.

We are now together, and we certainly like each other for our ambiguities. He used to joke that there was no point in getting me flowers, I’d probably be happier if I was gifted with a new “toy”, e.g. a power tool. He’s right, actually. I’d rather flowers stay on plants, as bouquets don’t impress me. I’m pretty happy with his choice of presents: he got me a toy helicopter (an ancestor of today’s drones), he got my son a bike, he put together a longboard for me. He never actually got me power tools.

The truth is, he doesn’t like power tools. He likes to cook, he likes pets, he likes games. He watches sports but doesn’t participate in them. He is very proud of his soft, lush hair. He likes anime but hates the classic anime girl look with huge boobs. Unlike most guys, he doesn’t like big breasts. Between the two of us, I’m the one who has to stop myself from ogling a woman with a large chest, as breasts fascinate me. Perhaps because mine are rather small?

Feminine and masculine traits are often mixed in both males and females. Though we are inclined to think of men as stronger than women, for example, some individual women may have more developed muscles than individual men. I ask my 6-foot, 200-pound man, “what are your chances of beating Ronda Rousey in a fight?”

“None!” he exclaims. Ronda Rousey is 5’7” yet he knows he doesn’t stand a chance against her.

Low digit ratio

Several studies have explored digit ratio as a way to measure androgen exposure from inside the womb. Here’s how it works: straighten your fingers in your left hand. Compare the pointer to the ring finger. Which is longer? If the ring finger is longer, your exposure to androgen as a fetus was bigger than if the pointer finger is longer.

A study on 2-4-year-old Scottish children found that there are strong relationships between digit ratio and behavior that we often associate with gender. Girls with male-type fingers have more hyperactivity and problems relating to their peers compared to other girls, while boys with female-type fingers were more emotional compared to other boys.

I’m imagining my man as a little boy, crying. So cute!

 

Other good reads...

HAPI Youth Launches New Secular Shirts

Another new milestone has been reached by the HAPI Youth as they launch their flagship fundraising project “The Apostate Collection” on Facebook on December 28, 2019. The Apostate Collection aims to start conversations on rational thinking and secularism in the country without being too much “in your face.” Design   Sever the tethers of doctrinal […]

HAPI Women and their Children Empowerment Talk

Jahziel training the volunteers We had three events happening simultaneously last March 13, 2016. The first one was a seminar about women’s and children’s rights, which was headed by Jamie Martinez, our project implementer. This was followed by our monthly nutrition campaign. The second day of training of the volunteers for the HAPI Literacy happened after […]

Finding Humanism

Finding Humanism by Herb Burdeaux September 19, 2017 6PM (-8 GMT) Seattle, WA, USA We all have our story of how we found humanism, or like me, stumbled into it. Humanism being the great outlook of thought that attaches prime importance to human beings, rather than divine or supernatural entities. I was raised on an […]

Exodus as Historical Fiction

book of exodus

Exodus as Historical Fiction by Junelie Anthony Velonta Dumaguete City   Upon first inspection, it would seem that the Exodus story and the Trojan War have little to no similarities to each other. The Exodus deals with the plagues set upon Egypt by the Hebrew god and the exit of the enslaved Hebrews from Egypt, […]

First HAPI General Assembly

When:Sunday, February 21, 2016 at 8 AM Where:   Hamersons Hotel 0337 Don Mariano Cui Street, Capitol SIte, 6000 Cebu City, Philippines info@hamersonshotelcebu.com Special Representation of HAPI IC coming from NYC, USA Objective: To provide leadership training to HAPI Lead Conveners and members .               To discuss present and future plans/strategies  to […]

Ascension by Rekindle PH

The fifth installation of the Rekindle series happened last 20th of October at Tippy’s Bistro, in lined with Bacolod’s Masskara Festival, the bistro’s anniversary and the team turning a year leaf as well. Two blocks away from Lacson Street where the local mardi gras is, the team showcased local artists from Bacolod and Iloilo to feature their work against roughly 200 Bacolodnons who decided to stir clear from the main street’s chaos.

HAPI’s Back-to-Back Relief Ops for Typhoons Quinta, Rolly, and Ulysses

By: Maria Juana Valenzuela “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” – John Bunyan Once Mother Nature gets angry, no amount of preparation can stop her from taking out her frustrations on humans. We were deeply heartbroken when we saw the aftermath of super typhoons that hit our […]

About The Author

Maimai-addi Aydinan

Drayber, bodyguard, alalay. 3rd wave feminist. Batang Batibot. Technically a “Tita” but prefers to be called “Ate.” Elder Millenial or Tail-end GenX-er.

Scroll to Top