Am I doing it Right?- From a Humanist Parent

Posted by Kristiane Fallarcuna | Posted on March 1, 2019

 

In this country that is mostly religious, there came a time in my life that I questioned my parenting… “Am I doing it right?”

There are voices here and there… saying… “That’s not the right way…”

Your kids don’t go to church and don’t believe in ‘god/s’.

Your kids don’t pray… before meal…after meal…and before sleep. Don’t they know how to be grateful with all the blessings in life?

Your kids express their opinions, even if it’s about not believing in ‘god/s’, and people find it ridiculous…and even offensive.

They don’t do what other ‘normal’ kids do… they might lose their path and not learn goodness and morality.

Are you teaching them well? Are you giving them their right to have a religion?

Are you giving them the opportunity to open their mind and heart…to the savior Jesus?

Obviously not, you’re teaching them to become irreligious just like you are now…

You were taught to be religious….You were once very religious…But…you don’t teach the same things that you’ve learned from religion…

They might grow up the wrong way…

I was reared in a Christian family. I grew up praying and trusting my fate to the God that my religion taught me about. I was active in church and did what a ‘good Christian’ had to do (I even contemplated into entering a convent). I think my name was even taken from this religion.

I was struck and affected by these questions. I came to a point that I even questioned my ways…and my reality. I felt gaslighted by the norm.

Am I doing it right? Am I a good parent? Am I teaching them well? Am I doing it right?

 

Finally, I found the answers inside me…the same parts where those questions roamed around. In my mind, by using it well. In my heart, by loving sincerely. In my past, the lessons that it left.

I’m doing it right!

I’m not saying that parents who don’t do what I do are doing it wrong. Good parents do their best for their children and I say #NoToParentJudging. You’ll know to your heart if you’re doing it right.

I’m doing it right!

My kids don’t go to church because they don’t have to. Our belief doesn’t require or encourage us to do it. As a humanist or atheist or irreligious, obviously believing in deity/s is not our thing… But that doesn’t make us less human.

My kids don’t pray because it has no relevance to our belief but it does not mean that they are ungrateful. They are grateful every day of the littlest things and they show it by giving back. Their love is the sincerest that I’ve got.

My kids express their opinions because they know their rights. They don’t intend to offend, they are just being honest… and even patient. When others tell them that they might go to hell for being irreligious, they just shrug it off, understanding why these people came up to that statement. They respect others beliefs, don’t they have the right to get such respect and express their beliefs too?

My kids do what other ‘normal’ kids do, they play, they learn, they grow and most importantly- they think. They have high levels of empathy and respect so I’m confident that they will grow good and moral individuals. They were taught the values that humans must possess.

I’m not perfect but I’m doing my best to teach them well. I’m giving them the right to learn morality as what they truly deserve.

I’m giving them the opportunity to open their mind and heart, not to any deity/s… but to reality… to science… to the world… and to humanity.

I’m teaching them to become irreligious just like what I am now. What do you expect? Do Christian parents teach their kids to become Muslim or vice versa?

What I am in the past does not mean that they should be too in the future. Things change. We learn, we change, we are redirected. What I am now, what I believe now… is my business. I’ll teach my kids the things that I believe are right.

They might grow up the wrong way? How could that be when they are doing the right things, the good things, holding love and empathy in their heart…and not book/s that tell about violence, punishments, and myths?

Because… I’m doing it right. And, I’m confident with that.

Peace and love to all!

 

 

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