I am for Civil Union

Posted by Claris Quezon | Posted on November 16, 2019
not everything is black & white, rainbow existed for a reason

I have always advocated for civil union of the same sex because it is the right of every individual to enter into a contract. Controversy aside, let us focus on the human relationship, and not on their unacceptable social norms as others perceived it to be.

Sexual orientation and gender identity has nothing to do with criminal minds or actions. Let us separate criminal acts of individuals or sexual context (pornographic actions) from a humane relationship of those identifying themselves as another gender.

Recently, I lost a relative to the very silent killer, heart attack, it was sudden yes, but she had breast cancer also, so it was just another way out of pain and  she is lesbian. She was close to me, and I treat her as my second mom. Growing up I knew something was not as forgiving because there is always that friend of hers that is not invited to family gathering or worse will be mistaken as house hold chores’ assistant. When I was of understanding age, I understood who she was. A hush partner that must not be spoken of. It is  taboo to a very devout protestant family (paternal side). I drew ire of everyone because I would always include the “friend” to my regular summer visits.

I was eleven, when I was taken to the conference room to be lectured that woman and man is for each other. I was confused. But hey, I would always have my doc martens, played billiards, basketball and at times boxing matches to boys that would bully me or called me names. The part I really do enjoy, kicking people’s behind for being an ass. I was fifteen when I was asked to stopped being a “tomboy”. I find there is nothing wrong if I act and dress myself in boy clothes, I feel comfortable wearing them. Mama would always come to the rescue (I am a missed breed of Spanish & Chinese, so if they are arguing about me they use that, apparently so I cannot understand) and my mother will have the brunt of the disgust of my grandparents for allowing me to run wild. In Visayan, I would always hear, “kay bugay man gyud siya”….

I knew I hit the tipping point for everyone because I recognized that being lesbian is not wrong. She was not a criminal. She was not an abuser, nor a pedophile and all those disgusting criminal minded individual. For me, she was just Mama.

When she died, her partner was left speechless and unheard of. She does not have any right that should have been recognized. But is if they were man and woman then that kind of partnership can be considered common law wife and husband. Whoever die first gets to leave the other party the chance to decide the what & where of his/her final resting place, and she/he is entitled to those properties that were  left behind.
That is the disgusting truth of not recognizing the rights of those partners who is not able to enter into a legal cohabiting contract.

There are laws that can somehow protect the partners, such as contracts specifically drawn between them but it does not offer the same amount of protection as that of recognized cohabiting partners. Realities and reasons are hurting and destructive at the very least.

First, if they so decide to have their own child they will either be adopting from relatives or from someone who offers them a child. The law shall not recognize the other person as the parent after all only an identified male and female can be parents in the eyes of the law.

Second, the provisions of the family code only recognizes a husband and wife to inherit properties from each other. The law on inheritance insist that the first to be considered is the wife/husband, then the children, the parents, siblings and the extended families according to the hierarchy of filial ascendancy. But what if two female who has been living together build an empire? Sad,  but the truth is she can only keep her share but the share of the demised partner is given to her immediate family, fighting for it will just exhaust your resources, because greed also abounds in these relationship set up.

Third, when one dies, the other party will not be given a chance to speak nor be empowered to decide where and how the wake and internment will be done. I think amongst the three reasons, this is the scariest and heart wrenching. Can you imagine living with a person for years, sleeping and waking up beside that person then at her demise you cannot even express what the wishes of the dead was, because you are not to be heard and seen at all.

The Philippine judicial system is in its infancy, the only way that the humane treatment and recognition of both gender as cohabiting partners be accepted is through acknowledgment that human relationship is not about the genders, but two people having an informed decision to live together as one with shared vision on responsibilities and obligations toward one another.

RESPECT is treating everyone equally as HUMANELY as one needs to.

Please  support even if you  are not LGBTQ.

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About The Author

Klaris, ang mandirigma ng hindi nauunawaan

HAPI Executive Secretary

Human rights activist

An advocate of Progressive Humanism

Aeta Literacy Leader

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