Pride Month is often filled with colors, celebration, and loud declarations of love and identity. But for many of us, behind the rainbow is a long, complicated path – one paved with silence, fear, judgment, and eventually, acceptance. For me, Pride is not just about being seen, it’s about becoming who I truly am, and that journey did not come easy.

Ever since I was a child, I knew, not in loud, obvious ways, but in the quiet ache of being misunderstood – that I was different. Deep in my core, I wasn’t the person that society expected me to be. I didn’t fit the mold. While everyone saw a boy, I saw someone else in the mirror. Someone I couldn’t name back then, but someone I longed to be.

In high school, things became painfully clear: I am not a man. But I also wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud. I tucked myself behind forced masculinity. I played the part that was expected of me because I feared the judgment- the looks, the whispers, and the rejection. I laughed at jokes that hurt me. I wore the clothes that felt like armor. I hid.

Then came college–a breath of freedom, and at the same time, a confrontation with truth. I met trans women. I talked to them, heard their stories, and every part of me whispered, “That’s who you are. That’s what you’ve been trying to say.” I admired them, their beauty, their strength, their honesty. And slowly, I started to say it to myself: I am a trans woman.

But saying it to others, that’s where the pain started. I thought college would be my safe space. One day, I trusted a friend with my truth. I opened up about my gender identity, thinking I was finally in a place where I could be honest. And I’ll never forget what she said: “Masyado kang lalaki para maging trans.” (“You’re too much of a boy to be trans.”) Her words didn’t just sting; they shattered me. It felt like the fragile confidence I was building collapsed in seconds. I asked myself, what does being “too much of a man” even mean? Does my voice, my appearance, or my past disqualify me from being who I am? That moment reminded me that even within communities that should offer safety, judgment still exists.

Being trans is not just about transitioning bodies; it’s about transitioning minds, especially our own. It’s about unlearning shame, battling internalized fear, and choosing truth even when it hurts.

I’m still learning to embrace myself fully. I still face days of doubt, of stares, of comments that bruise. But despite it all, I continue. Because every step toward authenticity is a step toward freedom. I no longer live for what society expects. I live for her: the trans woman I am, the woman I’ve always been.

Pride Month, for me, is not just a celebration. It’s survival. It’s a reminder that I am here, I am heard and I am seen, not despite my struggles, but because of them. I carry my scars with pride. I walk with the weight of my truth, and I do it with grace.

To every trans person who feels unseen, judged, or “not enough”: you are enough! Your femininity / masculinity, your identity, and your story are valid. Don’t let anyone measure your worth based on what they think a trans person should look or sounds like.

This is my Pride. Raw. Imperfect. Courageous. And in this journey of becoming, I finally found HER – my true self.