It is not events that disturb people but their judgments concerning them.
– V, Enchiridion, Epictetus

It is a common response for man to cry out when he experiences a misfortune and undergoes the trials of life. However, according to the Stoics like Zeno, Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, it is not really the misfortunes that are the problem but rather our responses and our judgments – in sum, our perceptions – concerning what is perceived as a negative experience. For this article, it would be enough for us to focus on what Epictetus said on this matter so as to give space for the thoughts of other Stoics in the future. For now, let us begin with the ideas that the Stoics held in common.

For the Stoics, everything we experience is divided within what is in our control, what is partially within our control, and what is not. Suffering and moral error arises when we attempt to control what is not in our control (externals) through the improper directions of our desires and our aversions. Everything we experience outside our minds such as fortune, adversity, troubles, misfortunes, wealth, validation, ambition, reputation, expectations, avoidance of suffering, etc. are all externals because they are outside our control. Everything that we experience no matter how good or bad we perceive them only become good or bad the moment we decide that they are. For the Stoics, there is no such thing as a misfortune. 

If your ship was lost, your ship was lost. If you are thrown into jail, you are thrown into jail. If you are mocked, you are just mocked – calling it a ‘bad situation’ is already an extra and ‘false’ judgment we paint with the circumstance. (III. 8, Discourses). Our expectations and attempts to avoid external suffering are all futile because all events we like and dislike are just naturally occurring phenomena of life that are not within our control. And since externals are all natural and indifferent to our opinions, for the Stoics, they could neither be called good or evil. 

Don’t hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whichever way they happen: this is the path to peace.
– VIII, Enchiridion

According to the Stoics, the only thing that is truly and completely within our power, is our mind. For them, the mind is the only realm where good and evil can exist. An activity is good when it perfects reason and strengthens character by controlling only what is in our power and evil when it corrupts reason and weakens the will by controlling what is not in our power. In Aurelius thought, the mind contains what is conceptualized as the doctrine of three namely, perception, action, and will. These three are all responsible for our judgments, impressions, responses to phenomena, desires, aversions, and our character. 

“The discipline of perception requires that we maintain absolute objectivity of thought: that we see things dispassionately for what they are without inappropriate value judgments. That of action which requires us to treat people as they deserve for we are all participants of the logos and we are made for others not ourselves, to be strict with ourselves but tolerant of others. And to have the right attitude – to accept things in our power and reject those that are not. We control our actions and are responsible for such so if we act wrongly, we harm ourselves more than we harm others.”
– Translator’s Introduction, Gregory Hays (paraphrased)

According to Epictetus’ Enchiridion, our desires (which are responsible for the things that we want) and our aversion (which refer to the things that we avoid or dislike) must be aligned with nature by limiting them to what is only in our power. For example, our desire should not be to change the situation but rather to change our character. Our aversions (or what we despise) must not be to escape mockery or be harmed by an enemy but to let it ruin our character.

The practice of Stoicism is close to what’s known as the tranquility prayer – asking Nature or Providence, the Logos (the somewhat pantheistic god of the Stoics) to grant us 1) the serenity to accept things in our power, 2) the courage to change the things we can control, and 3) the wisdom to know and discern the difference. Some of the Stoics like Epictetus were not just pantheistic, they also believed in Zeus. Nonetheless, a god’s existence is outside our control – whether you believe in one or not – the only thing we can control is our mind and our responses to things. 

“Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”
– Marcus Aurelius

So, whenever you are faced with troubles due to either the wrongdoing of other people against you, the unexpected turn of events, the death of a loved one, a delayed flight, the lost of a thing or position you value most, traumatic/abusive experiences in the past, or just nature taking things away from you and doing its job, ask yourself first if it is within your control and if you can change it. If you can’t, accept things as they are, move on, and focus on changing your character and your responses. As the Stoics say, you cannot be harmed without your cooperation or see that it is a negative situation without you deciding it is bad. It’s okay to feel hurt at first but do not let pain take over your life. But if you can change the situation, do what needs to be done so you shall have no regrets. And even then, such regrets from the past can no longer be changed. Every experience – especially in times of crisis – is an opportunity to learn, to realize the nature of externals, to train your mind to think and respond like a Stoic, and be a better human being. (See II. 16, III. 20 of Discourses)

Works Referred To

Aurelius, Marcus., Meditations trans. Gregory Hays (New York: Modern Library, 2003).

_________., Meditations: Complete and Unabridged  trans. George William Chrystal (Darthmouth: Clydesdale, 2018).

_________., Meditations trans. Martin Hammond (New York: Penguin Classics, 2006).

Epictetus., Discourses and Selected Writings trans. Robert Dobbin (New York: Penguin Classics, 2008). 

Seneca., Dialogues and Letters trans. C.D.N. Costa (New York: Penguin Classics, 1997).

________., Letters from a Stoic trans. Robin Campbell (New York: Penguin Classics, 1969).