“Her”Story

By AJ Ballares
Member, HAPI Board of Trustees

The movie “Liway” struck me to the core for two reasons. First, because this movie is based on the true story of a Negrense activist mother who was shielding her son from the trauma of their life as political prisoners; and second, because this woman was the commander of an anti-dictatorship movement against Ferdinand Marcos, Sr. across Negros Island. She was Cecilia Oebanda, also known as Commander Liway, who made her mark in the annals of the Philippine democracy movement along with Melchora Aquino, Gabriela Silang, Gregoria de Jesus, Teresa Magbanua, Agueda Kahabanagan, and Trinidad Tecson for being female freedom fighters.

These names ring a bell, right? I cannot stress enough that throughout the years, women have played major roles in the struggle for freedom of Filipino society. From the Babaylans of the pre-colonial era to the women of the revolution who fought against colonial rule to the independent women of today, women continue to fight against gender oppression. 

There’s just no way for me to put into words how it is exactly to be a woman as I don’t have experiential knowledge of it. I can only imagine what it is to be a woman, that’s what we call empathy.

Hard facts

Filipinas have come a long way – in fact, we’re #1 in Asia and #16 in the world in terms of closing the gender gap, but discrimination still exists. 

Let’s look at some numbers to give a sense of what it means to be a woman in Philippine society. 

Source: Rappler

• 7 out of 24 current senators in the Philippines are women
• 59% of Filipinos say it’s more acceptable for men to be aggressive and ambitious than women. 
• 71% of Filipinos believe that men deserve employment more than women.
• 65% of Filipinos believe it’s more important for men to finish a university education.
• 70% of men think women need to downplay their personality to be accepted.
• 56% of Filipinos think it’s acceptable for men to have extramarital affairs but not women. 

But things are changing!

• 80% now say that it’s okay for a woman to talk openly about her experiences, even the negative ones. 
• 56% believe that women are not insecure and they make an effort to look good
• 79% agree that having a job enables women to be independent. 
• 49% say that the woman who lives on her own is independent since it’s not common in the Filipino culture to have children move out once they reach the age of 18. 

This proves that mindsets are changing. Filipinas are getting more assertive.

• 91% believe that a Filipina who is not afraid to be the center of attention exudes self-confidence

• 95% believe that women can create positive change in society. 

These hard facts already tell us a lot about where we’re at right now.  

So the first two parts of this article were just to give us a prelude of how we got this far in the bigger scheme of things of how women shaped the Philippine society. Now let’s make it more organic to our organization, Humanist Alliance Philippines, International – these HAPI women that shape into the successful organization it is today.  

You don’t have to go that far to see how women run our organization; I mean, half of HAPI’s Executive Council is composed of women!

HAPI Women

In honor of this year’s celebration of women’s month, let me acknowledge the women of HAPI whom I have personally met.

Marissa Torres-Langseth

There’s no better way to start this than with Marissa Torres-Langseth, or Ms. M, the founder of Humanist Alliance Philippines, International. Ms. M was, and she still is, the ubiquitous figure of the secular movement of the Philippines. I first met Ms. M during an online debate in 2013. Then after four years, I met her face to face when she visited the Philippines in June 2017 for HAPI’s General Assembly and the Asian Humanism Conference. 

I call her “mom” for she is a mother to me in humanism and a mentor. 

She had online bashers – like, loads of them. They hated Ms. M for being assertive, strong, and independent. I can’t think of any other reasons behind their tasteless attacks aimed at Ms. M other than that of a display of her haters’ internalized sexism and misogyny. But Ms. M has never been one to fold under pressure; the surefire message is clear she’s one feisty Filipina one should never mess with.

Patricia Milton

Everybody in HAPI fondly calls her Tita Pattie. She is the intuitive and creative sister to Ms. M. Yes, she can tell who the good people are, and have some bad gut feelings if you’re sketchy. She also loved to paint. 

Tita Pattie and I first met in her residence in Consolacion, Cebu on Feb. 23, 2016. 

Tita Pattie prepared for us a sumptuous lunch in her “Yellow House” (as I fondly called it for its bright, sunny color). It was my first proper taste of the famous Cebu lechon with some of the members of HAPI.

She’s been a very generous donor of HAPI since time immemorial. Tita Pattie was a major sponsor for HAPI’s 2018 General Assembly in Bacolod. I can still remember when she treated us all to another big lunch together with the rest of the HAPI Leadership in SM Bacolod. (After that big meal, she told me in private that I better lose weight. That was well-received!) If I were to describe Tita Pattie in one word it would be “generous”. 

Angelica Driskell

Whenever I come across her name, there are a couple of words that usually come up:

Fierce. Cool.

You might have come across Angie Driskell as HAPI’s Humanist of the Year awardee for 2021. Just so everybody is aware, she is also a single mom of three awesome ladies, an English instructor, a co-host of the Godless Longganisa podcast, and a member of HAPI’s Board of Trustees and Executive Council. She juggles all of these along with her advocacies outside of HAPI. You may be tempted to ask where she gets all this energy, to which the answer is pretty straightforward: a cup of coffee!

I first met Angie on July 10, 2019. I was so thrilled to finally meet her because we shared the same taste for music – old-school rap and hip-hop. She was kind enough to send me a Bonethugs-N-Harmony jersey, which I proudly sport on my Facebook profile. 

Mary Jane Valenzuela

Nothing can break Mary Jane Valenzuela (or MJ). She’s just the most resilient person I know. She’s been through a lot, faced a plethora of adversities head-on, survived, and carried on. She is a supermom to the youngest HAPI Scholar, Shawn Quiming, and a sister to the rest of us in HAPI Leadership.  

I can still remember how MJ checked up on me when I relocated to HAPI’s HQ in Las Pinas. On June 14, 2019, she asked me “How do you go about dealing with boredom? I hope you have someone to talk to”. She then visited me the same day and brought me food. That was so kind of MJ.

Aside from being a sister to all of us, MJ is also a mechanic, a baker, a chef, and a big Deadpool fan.

Jamie del Rosario

Everybody calls her Ate Jamie. If there’s one thing that stands out for Ate Jamie in HAPI, it is her passion for children. She is the recipient of Foundation Beyond Belief Network’s international award for the Most Valuable Volunteer in 2018. That’s how amazing Ate Jamie is. I think of her as a superwoman, always ready to extend help when you’re in need. Indeed, I’ve asked for her help multiple times, even at wee hours.

In 2017, I asked Ate Jaime if she could give me a place to rest because my flight to Manila was delayed for two hours. I was short on budget and there was just nowhere to go. So I asked for her help and she offered me their humble home where I can rest. Take note, it was 2 AM, yet she didn’t hesitate to extend help. Plus she prepared me a meal – my favorite sinigang na tilapia! – so I didn’t have to sleep hungry.

Janice Buenaventura  

Janice is the lead convener of HAPI-Bicol. She is also a single mother to a beautiful daughter. She was the HAPI-Metro Manila Lead Convener back in 2018, and in 2019 she moved back to her home province, Sorsogon, to spearhead HAPI Bicol Chapter. She is an artist in every sense of the word. I learned about her through our late friend Macky when she was still running a creative art space and gallery, The Pineapple Lab, in Makati.

It was June 16, 2019 when I first came across Janice. Art being our common ground, Janice and I instantly clicked (no pun intended, she really is a good photographer). 

And there you have it – the women behind HAPI’s success!